I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
