Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
