Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
