How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
