Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
