I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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