Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
