I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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