lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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