i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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