Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
