I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize