Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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