I'm drive I can fine osifer
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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