Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
