I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
