And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize