Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
