fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
