Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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