I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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