You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
