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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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