my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just pee around me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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