her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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