moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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