ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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