I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize