I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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