I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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