Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize