I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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