remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
