i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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