I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
