I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
