I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
