yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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