I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She even gives head with a lisp.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
