That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My ass is underappreciated
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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