Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
