you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize