You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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