You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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