Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
