I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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