Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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