Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
