Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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