That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
