Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
