I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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