The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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