Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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