Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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