I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize