So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
