omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
