these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
