life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
ttyl tear gas
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
as a side note pls kill me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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