Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think my fart just growled at me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
