So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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