All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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